VICTORIA BECKHAM IN LA

VICTORIA BECKHAM IN LA

“There’s a very dry ironic sense of British humor running through it, which I hope everybody understands. I don’t really sunbathe in high heels, a full face of makeup and a bikini. It just goes to show I don’t take myself too seriously.” Victoria Beckham on Coming To America.

Obviously, the humor was lost on everyone except myself and one other friend who called to make sure I was watching. “This is the funniest shit I’ve ever seen” said my astute friend. I couldn’t have agreed more. I easily found myself in love with this woman, her sense of humor and the way she subtley bashed on American culture. The well directed Mrs. Beckham driving, drinking champagne and house hunting with her make-up artist and hairdresser pals, was priceless, not as many critics have said “irritating and confounding.” The NY Post needs to recheck themselves. Ms. Stasi wrote: “You will sit there slack-jawed at the gall of these people who think we are that stupid.” She also attacked Posh’s affected modesty in one scene where she wonders if the paparazzi are waiting for Madonna, describing it as “about as real as her hair color. Dear God.” Dear God is right, Posh is hysterical. If you need me, or anyone else to tell you that Victoria Beckham was ‘taking the piss’ then perhaps a trip to London is on order. (‘Taking the piss’ is a British phrase which means ‘making fun of yourself or someone else’).

The only complaint I have about the show is the fact that Victoria gave Mensa reject blogger Perez you-know-who some airtime. I love that she called him out on his nasty write-up of her, but could have done without seeing his ugly mug on an otherwise pretty show. My favorite occurrence on the show was when Vic’s personal assistant informed her that she was chosen to throw out the first pitch at a Dodgers game. Victoria response: “What if I make them lose?” Her assistant: “I don’t think your pitch is going to count.” Victoria Beckham, admitting that she doesn’t know much about baseball, said, “They wear tight trousers. One member of the team actually wears some weird mask, which looks like what we saw in the sex shop.” And with all this said, I redact any previous posts that may have bashed the Beckham’s. Especially after the W photos spread, and David Beckham’s surprisingly eloquent, humble and endearing welcome speech. (For more W photo spread photos, see July 12th’s post).

Ron Artest set for deal to Rockets

Bobby Jackson, first-round pick to go to Sacramento

In what had been a quiet off-season, the Rockets are about to make a lot of noise.

In a stunning move designed to push the Rockets from solid playoff team toward legitimate NBA contenders, the Rockets reached agreement Tuesday with the Sacramento Kings to acquire gifted but controversial forward Ron Artest, according to an NBA executive with knowledge of the deal.

The Rockets will give up guard Bobby Jackson, a No. 1 draft pick next season and another player that the individual with knowledge of the trade could not name. Rockets general manager Daryl Morey declined to comment.

Rookie forward Donte’ Greene, whom the Rockets acquired in a series of draft-night trades, will be included in the trade and is considered a key to the deal for the Kings. But because Greene signed July 14, he cannot be traded until Aug. 14 and the deal cannot be finalized or discussed publicly by team officials until Aug. 14.

The Rockets are also expected to acquire rookies Patrick Ewing Jr. and Sean Singletary another player or players in the deal to make the money match, but both have partially guaranteed contracts and are likely to be released. The Rockets will also send the Kings roughly $1 million.

The Rockets had previously signed guard Brent Barry this month and are in talks to keep free agents Dikembe Mutombo and Carl Landry.

Artest, 28, is considered one of the NBA’s most unpredictable characters and was the central figure in a 2004-05 brawl with fans in Auburn Hills, Mich. He is also considered among the league’s toughest lock-down defenders and sometimes, an unstoppable offensive force. The 39 points he scored against the Rockets in 2006-07 season is his career high.

A 6-foot-7, 248 pound forward, he had publicly lamented his decision last month not to opt out of the last season of his contract to become a free agent, renewing the Kings’ efforts to move him.

Artest played 40 games for Rockets coach Rick Adelman after he was traded by the Indiana Pacers to the Kings in the 2005-06 season, averaging 16.9 points, 5.2 rebounds and a career-high 4.2 assists. He was also a first-team NBA All-Defensive team selection. He offered to donate his salary if the Kings were willing to retain Adelman after that season.

In nine NBA seasons out of St. John’s, where he was a third-team All-American, Artest has averaged 16 points and 5.1 rebounds. He was the 2003-04 NBA Defensive Player of the Year. He averaged 20.5 points per game last season.

Artest, however, has been unable to stay clear from trouble. He was arrested in March 2007 and charged with domestic abuse and eventually sentenced to 20 days in jail and community service. That sentence was reduced to 10 days in a work release program. He had also been charged with animal neglect, though charges were not filed and Artest has since worked with People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals on several campaigns.

In addition to his 73-game suspension after going into the stands in the Nov. 19, 2004 brawl, the longest suspension in NBA history other than for drug policy violations or gambling, he has been suspended for destroying a television camera in New York, for an altercation with then Heat coach Pat Riley in Miami and for numerous flagrant fouls.

Drafted by the Chicago Bulls in 1999, he was traded in 2002 to the Pacers, having some of his best seasons, including his one All Star season in 2003-04. Prior to the fight in 2004, he was suspended for two games for asking for a month off to promote an R&B album by a group on his production label. After his return to the Pacers the season after the fight, he asked for a trade and was placed on the inactive roster.

Though Artest has been best used as a small forward, Rockets forward Shane Battier is also considered among the league’s best players at defending small forwards and shooting guards. But because Artest can defend players from small guards to power forwards, the Rockets could finish games with Artest and Battier on the court together, either with Tracy McGrady sliding over to point guard or with Artest matching up with power forwards.